3 Comments

Perfect parentheses!! Great impact at the end.

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Last stanza is my favorite. I liked your use of parentheses, it breaks it up, which I like, and adds to the imagery in my mind, and the imagery continues with that "stole, smothered, smeared... each layer of lipstick." Love that. I also think the earlier stanzas could have done with less pronouns or otherwise contextual language, I'll edit my own version of the second and third stanza to see what you think, you might not like it, but just in case you find something you do like in it, here's my edit:

When I'm older,

at altar,

roses winking

and I wed,

winking,

roses winking back.

Hands on hips,

my conjoined twin

fused lips—and even then,

bleeding face

failing to fade.

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The title grabbed my attention!

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